Every day, I see the same arguments over and over about female characters in games and I really believe we are all ready to be done with the debate, walk away with our opinions, and go back to ogling the bulging portions of our favorite characters without guilt. But, I want to make one last point in favor of…good looking female characters.
Let’s begin by noting that seeing anything other than a large breasted, thin waisted woman in a game is indeed a rarity. When Tiny Tina (Borderlands 2) emerged, there was a general jaw dropping that turned into an open mouthed grin as her character spewed out a variety of phrases – most often including badonkadonks in some way or another. She is easily excitable and hell bent on destruction by generous use of explosions. Some of the gaming world adored the little violence loving tart. Others couldn’t believe that a female character could possibly say such things. I mean, how could a woman use words like suckabutts, badonkadonks, and bitch face? Clearly, she was a racist character built into the game. Clearly.
Next up, we have Little Sister (Bioshock 1 & 2). She is very much in need of a long soak in the bathysphere and well versed in the use of homemade syringes. She’s got a big daddy following her around and you better plan on taking her daddy out of the picture first if you ever expect to see any of her tricks. It is as if Little Sister doesn’t understand that female characters are supposed to give up their goodies for free. Oh, and she probably shouldn’t have been crawling in those vents only to come out for the bangs of a burly man in a fancy suit.
Lastly, GLaDOS (Portal 1&2). Everything a real woman never could be – narcissistic, witty, and full of loosely hidden hatred. GLaDOS almost had us convinced with her encouragement and giving us the companion cube – which promptly became our best friend and pushed all others out of our lives. She’s our friend, our sidekick, our mortal enemy that fires rockets at us. The more time we spent with her, the more we knew that she was just like every other woman in our lives.
There you have it. Three atypical female characters. Judging from these, I’m positive that we can all agree we need far less of these inferior and unshapely characters in our games. These types of females are most definitely not worthy of being important or useful to game play. Where are all of their ASSets? I leave you with a compelling phrase from Tiny Tina – “Got the badonkadonks? Best day evaaaaaaaa!”